Communication in Relationships: If I were a Boy??? hmmmm....

Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHLTwbEa968 What a week!! With Valentines' Day fast approcahing, what better topic to learn about than Communication in Relationships... In this entry, I will be discussing just that and will be referring to Knapp’s Model of Relational Development. For my media text this week, I have chosen the music video, "If I Were a Boy" by American R&B singer Beyoncé Knowles as it helped me understand illustriously the existing facts in relationships. Her third solo album, I Am… Sasha Fierce, was released in November 2008, and spawned the worldwide hit "If I Were a Boy". I also decided to use this music video as a reference, as I thought it would be interesting to analyze from the individual point of view of a guy and a girl (which according to me are poles apart without a doubt!!) with regard to communication in relationships.

In my opinion, the relationship between Beyoncé and the male lead (played by Ryan Locke), proves that the stages of Knapp’s Model are not linear, and that sometimes, people in relationships might want to take a step back, as a result of which relationships regress to a previous stage or skip a stage. I will try to identify the stages in the on screen couples relationship by exploring the typical behaviors they emphasize in the relationships.

The music video begins with Beyoncé reciting words such as “intimacy”, “commitment” and “ME” where as her husband stresses on “honesty” and “YOU” demonstrating the different aspects that the two prioritize in their relationship. It also proves my thesis. Men and women are often in relationships for different reasons. Though their main aim is the “US” factor. The song starts with her husband preparing breakfast and Beyoncé takes off to her job as police officer with an attractive male police partner with whom sparks are clearly flying. This shows that they are in Stage 5 i.e. Bonding of the "Coming Together" stages, as they are shown to be married, and this shows a sense of commitment, obligation and participation in the relationship. They have obviously passed the Initiating and Experimenting stages, They look pretty comfortable with one another or a bit TOO comfortable. As he is serving her breakfast she avoids contact with him. She is show to just take a bite n move out. She is at Stage 9 of the relationship the “Coming Apart” stage. She is shown to reduce communication as he tries his best to encourage it.
She is also shown to lead a very routine life. She is at Stage 8 where she is at a stagnant point in the relationship. She reciprocates the flirts of her fellow worker as it is something that excites her. While her curves are admired by her police partner, her husband is spending time at his office job looking up a pair of earrings to buy for her online. This shows a certain amount of relational identity; disclosure of feelings to the other party.
The husband calls Beyoncé, only to be ignored by his wife, who is out having a beer "with the guys." This exudes a strong sense of differentiation from her side, thus indicating Stage 6 of the "Coming Apart" stages; Differentiating. She disconnects his call and continues enjoying with her friends, reaffirming her individuality and refuses to encourage his advances.


The next scene that struck me was the night the husband gives Knowles the earrings and the two leave for a party at which he catches her dancing intimately with her police partner. She seems to have forgotten he exists. He on the other hand watches her every move. Jealousy squirted all over him. They seem to have a conflict and the scene where the two of them are in the car just shows that he has finally reached Stage 8. He finally realises what she realised long ago. Their going through the "motion of a relationship" which lacks fun and excitement.

As the husband confronts her at home, the role reversal is revealed. The husband is actually the police officer with an attractive female partner. Beyoncé is the office worker who has been snubbed. The video is about all of the little things that mean so much in a relationship.